Hair- I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Ok, if you don’t get that reference, that’s me quoting from the song Hair from the musical of the same name. Yup! I’m that nerd! But seriously, how many of you have had a love/hate relationship with your hair as I have? When I was young, my hair was straight, greasy and a very dark brown and I hated it. Then came the Tony Perms. Remember those? I don’t think I really liked those either. By the time I got to high school, I got smart, I think, and got my perms professionally done and then eventually gave up on perms entirely and switched to dyeing my own hair a lighter brown with a bit of a red tinge for the next twenty years. I used the same box of L’Oréal, in 4 different countries until that last box (bought in Germany), dried my hair so bad, I had to let it grow out completely. Oh! and it did go slightly curly and fuzzy after I had my kid. As for hair cuts, I went from long to short to long, every style and non-style you can imagine or not imagine and sometimes years in between. That sounds so painful now. It just wasn’t a priority which is also a painful thought.
In retrospect, I wish I could change a few things, my thoughts towards my hair being one of them. I’ve embraced the dark brown and even love it and I’m ok with the whites coming in. I can’t change the past but I can do something about it now. I wasn’t a very assertive person before but I’m learning how to tell people what I like or dislike and what I want. It’s taken many years but it’s a skill (yes a skill because it takes lots of practice) that I’m implementing in many parts of my life and I’m loving myself better for it.
Anyways, since introducing me to her (Wendy) hairstylist, Charla, I’ve tried different cuts and even got some highlights. I’m getting more adventurous and next time we’ve decided on an even bigger change. It’ll be a big surprise! Wendy on the other hand loves her bright colours and usually gives Charla carte blanche to try out new colour combinations. She said she tried being a brunette once but didn’t like it. Since July of 2016, it’s been all about the flash and she wears it well.
We decided to ask Charla a few questions about women and their hair in midlife. She is more than qualified with 28 years in the hair industry. She’s mentored and taught an apprenticeship program, helped develop the hairstyling program at Georgian College in Barrie, Ontario, is a specialist in many areas of all things hair and if you’re looking for a hairstylist for a special occasion, she’s your gal.
Q&A about hair in midlife
How does your hair change?
Once we hit 40, our hormones change and that’s when we naturally start to thin. Also, when we hit menopause, our hormones and everything change and some people experience having had straight hair and is now curly hair. Julie: That’s me when I got pregnant. Yes, and that’s another way your hair changes as well. It’s all hormone based. Thyroid has a lot to do with how the hair thins. Everything that changes in our body comes out through our hair, what we ingest as far as food, as far as medication. All those things have a factor in how our hair changes.
Do you find that older people are less likely to change their hairstyles?
My clients, no. I actually find some older women like to be a little more outrageous. They’re more open to putting a purple streak in the front of their hair, or a pink streak. Julie: I would have thought, because I think of my mother and she just went short and curly, left it at that because it was much easier to take care of and can’t be bothered to do any kind of styling. That does happen a lot, because older people get arthritis in their hands, so they can’t deal with their hair as well as they did when they were younger. Having it short, having it permed is less maintenance for them.
Are older women embracing their grey or are they trying to control it?
That’s split down the middle. During Covid, the people who wanted to try and embrace their grey, I would say out of 6 women, only 1 embraced it and loved it. The others tried it for a few months, hated it and went back. Julie: Do you find it’s because they’re going grey at the root and waiting for the hair to grow out is more difficult? Where I look at my hair and it’s seems to be coming out in strands so I’m not trying to control the roots. Where the women already grey? Many of them were already grey or coloured something other than their natural hair colour, so many want to go lighter and brighter because as you age, your skin tone changes, we need to go lighter, brighter and warmer. Just because you had brown hair when you were 10, it doesn’t mean it looks good with your complexion when you’re 65. Or, if people want to stay dark, they have to know that they have to change their makeup because older skin tends to be more fair. When your hair is fine and you have it coloured, colour plumps the cuticle of the hair to give it more volume. So when people age and their hair starts to thin, that volume they get from having their hair coloured, helps them style it that much more easier. Julie: I would imagine that a perm does the same thing? Yes
Why do prices differ so much?
Years of experience and education. If your prices are higher it’s because of more knowledge, and knowing what’s new and what’s in style.
Why do you think people are committed to their stylists?
Well, the number one reason clients leave their stylists is that they don’t offer something new. So, eventhough I’ve done someone’s hair for 20 years, I ask them every time if they’d like to change it or do something different. They can say no every single time but at least I’ve given them the opportunity.
Do you ever suggest different styles of hair? We know, with Wendy, that you’ll suggest different colours to try.
Always. And change doesn’t mean that you have to have every colour in the rainbow, but maybe just a side bang or maybe start curling your hair or maybe start flattening your hair, a different part. It doesn’t have to be big changes. And also, staying up to date is very important for stylists because some stylists get complacent and end up doing the same thing every single time. By staying educated and taking different courses and classes, it keeps you from being complacent.
When you’re taking new courses and classes, what are the things that you’re learning?
Learning to do things in a different way. Fashion always comes around, so chunky highlights are back, so if you think back to the 90s, it was like chunky black, white, black, white, now it’s more from the root area, it’s not as close and is called a shadow root. So, the chunk is still there but not as stripy like a zebra. Julie: Some trends should never come back. Exactly! If I have to do the Jennifer Aniston hair from Friends, one more time…
Do you find people our age, if they’re hiding their greys, are choosing to go while like this (Wendy)? Or are they choosing more natural colours? And are they choosing their own natural colour or someone else’s natural colour?
Some people what to enhance the grey, like yes, I can’t wait to be more grey so I’ll do super light blonde highlights and make them look like they have more grey than they do. Others, just want to blend, not as noticeable and it grows out naturally and it’s not noticeable as much when the colour grows out.
Do you find that cost is a big thing? As women age, are they willing to spend more money on themselves to do something that makes them feel good?
Sometimes for working moms, this is the only 1 ½ – 2 hours that they get every six weeks to themselves, when nobody and bother them or call them. They can sit here, relax and be. I find a lot more people are taking the time to do that and realize how important hair is and if your hair looks good, you feel good. I made colour kits for some of the women, during the pandemic, and many of them said this was what was helping them to get through it. If I can look in the mirror and not see the grey, I can go on another day and not be upset. Julie: it’s good to hear, Women tend to put everybody else ahead of them and it’s nice to hear that they’re taking time for themselves and understanding their worth.
How many clients to you get where they’ve tried something that they bought at a store and it didn’t work out and you need to fix it?
Thankfully, not a lot. Because I’ve been working with my clientele for a long time, and during the pandemic, giving them the option of me, doing their colour and mixing it for them and taking it home because I told them that I wouldn’t have time to fix mistakes.
What makes a good hairdresser?
They say it’s 20% talent and 80% personality. I don’t know if that’s true or not. I think, just listening. Julie: I think I have to agree…. Now, some people like to be told what they want, Wendy is a great example of that. I’ll say do you want this, and she’ll say ok! While others will come in and say I want this, this and this. Everyone is so different.
How do greys and curly hair react together?
It all depends. Some greys come in soft and blend well with the curls while others come in wiry Curly hair, just like straight hair is subjected to change with hormones.
Do women with curly hair keep their hair long as they get older or do they cut it short?
Just like women with straight hair, it depends on the woman. Most women usually cut their hair short as they get older because they aren’t as able to take care of it. Things like arthritis sets in and there’s a loss of dexterity in their hands or strength in their arms to continue the maintenance of long and/or curly hair.
For years, I made excuse about my hair, “I don’t want to spend the money”, “I’m a homeschooling mom, I don’t need anything special”, “I just don’t have time”, and those excuses are endless. The problem was that I didn’t put enough value on myself and I felt that I didn’t deserve it. Trying to figure out where all that came from is still a work in progress but I’ve finally changed my tune…most days(that’s a whole other blog post). So, I find the money and the time and I go see Charla because when I walk out of there, I feel special, I feel beautiful and I deserve it.
Lots of love,
Julie
