Living with integrity

I did something really big this week. I decided to withdraw from my Developmental Support Worker Apprenticeship program. This is a really big deal because it’s completely out of character for me. I normally like to finish things. I love learning and I thought it would be great to have another diploma under my belt, especially if it helped me in my job of assisting people with an intellectual disability. The problem is that I’ve been struggling with the course content, I don’t do well with grey areas; my memory isn’t what it used to be, I’m 51 years old and probably going through menopause for heaven’s sake; I’m struggling financially because I work part-time and I’m unable to pick up extra hours due to the course load; and, I’ve had little time for anything else so the unfinished “To Do List” is growing.

Maybe to some, this may sound like a copout but, this wasn’t a rash decision. I’ve put a lot of thought into it and weighed the pros and cons. One thing I’ve realized over the years is that sometimes I deserve to be selfish. When I was younger, I was so afraid of disappointing others and I did everything I could to avoid that. I always put others first and me last. I think more highly of myself now. While doing a brain dump with one friend, another friend, Laurie sent me these photos. It was exactly what I needed at that moment. It gave me courage.

See NOTE below about these photos

At the time these photos were taken, INTEGRITY meant something different to me. Today, it means being honest with myself, making the right choices for me and keeping a promise I made to myself…live life to its fullest, and with that I have no doubt that I’ll get to where I need to be.

Have you ever made a big decision and then realized it wasn’t the right decision for you? I don’t mean something you really regret. That’s a whole other story. I mean something that you thought was the right path but didn’t quite turn out that way. What did you do? Leave us a comment.

NOTE: In case you’re wondering, Laurie is a photographer and the creator of Life Messages, a movement of collaboration, community, and creativity and her latest project is called She’s Not Who She Used To Be. Stay tuned, when we feature her in our Community section. In the meantime, check out lauriegoodmanphotography.com life-messages.com @shesnotwhosheusedtobe

Lots of love,

Julie